A Loss, A lesson!

Weekend Read:

Who’s In Control?

Sometimes it takes a great deal of time and teaching for us to become what God can really use. Some of us were created with stubborn natures and controlling personalities.

Genetics are an interesting phenomena but I believe we cannot use this as an excuse to be less than we are capable of being.  When I was teaching, many times, I heard, 

“Well my Mom can’t spell so I guess I inherited that from her.” Or, fathers would tell me, "Well, when I was his age, I was quite a scrapper so I guess he comes by it honestly.” 

I always cringed when I heard things like this because it provided an excuse for a child to stop trying in these areas and accept the “shortcoming” of whatever area the parent excused the behavior in. After hearing the “excuses” time after time, it becomes a “self - fulfilling” prophecy and soon the child believes that they are incapable of hurdling that obstacle. I finally realized, in my life, that God wanted to change some of the inherited traits I was “blessed” with and it was through the process of letting these go that I became and am still becoming, what God wants me to be.

As a young person, I thought there was nothing I could not control and if I made up my mind about something, I would harass, nag, cajole and work until it came to be. I had to endure many difficult situations in my life in order to learn that I really didn’t have control over everything. 

When my Mother became very ill with cancer, it never dawned on me that she would not get better.  I had an innocent child like faith that would not accept the possibility that she would not be healed. After all, my family believed in divine healing and surely God would honour that faith. My memories of my Mother are sitting at her feet and listening to her wonderful stories of when she was a young girl in Siberia or listening to her beautiful soprano voice and trying to emulate it.  The songs she taught me as a young child are still precious memories. I think about sitting beside her in church and laying my head on her lap to nap when the sermon became too boring for a young child to bear! Mothers are good with this, Father’s, on the other hand don’t realize this is important sometimes.

We don’t know why God chooses to call his children home at a young age, my Mom was just 38 years old, but I believe that was the beginning of my realization that I did not have the power to control everything.  She went home to be with Jesus the day before my eleventh birthday.  It was a huge loss and a very difficult lesson but as I look back I realize that difficult lesson may have begun the process of molding and shaping me into what I needed to become in order for God to be able to use me.

I realize my Mother’s passing was not only for the benefit of teaching me but it was the first of many lessons that finally brought me to a place where I knew I needed to rely on my Heavenly Father for guidance and direction in all areas of my life and let him control instead of me! 

I believe if we use the valleys and trials in our lives as learning experiences and reflect upon them as opportunities to grow spiritually, and even ask God what he wants us to learn, we often find they bring us to a place where we become pliable and willing to give up stubborn traits that hinder our closeness with God. I have learned time and time again, as Paul, “Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” and through the pain in tribulation ask, “What are you teaching me, Lord?”

Today, I still mourn the loss of my Mother, but not as the world mourns. I know she has been transported to a glorious place that I am not capable of comprehending at this stage in my life.

Isaiah 57:1, “The righteous pass away; the Godly often die before their time .................  God is protecting them from evil to come. 2) For the Godly who die will rest in peace.”   This verse has always been my comfort and also the fact that one day I will see her again and sit by her feet and listen to her tell me stories and sing me songs.  What a glorious promise to look forward to!