We cannot control God!

A weekend Read!  Sunday May 6 2012

God’s Plan Differs From our Wishes;

I was eight years old when I realized the truth about my Mother’s illness.  She had been sick for many weeks but I was never really informed of the severity of her illness.

One day my Mom and Dad picked me up after school; I was in second grade, and we proceeded to the doctor’s office. I patiently sat in the waiting room and when my Mom returned, I knew she was very distraught and on the verge of tears.  As soon as we reached our car, she spoke in hushed tones as she relayed the terrible news to my Dad.  She had breast cancer! 

This was in the early fifties and surgery for cancer was almost non-existent.  My faith was not shaken, I had been taught that Jesus was the healer and if we came to him in faith, he would heal.  My parents also believed this and we started to pray.  In the next few agonizing years, her situation became more severe and she was in constant excruciating pain. 

We attended different evangelistic healing meetings, sometimes driving all night to a different city because we heard of a healing minister in that place.  Although we thought we were doing everything we could, my Mom was not improving.  My parents fasted and spent hours in prayer and we often had all night prayer vigils in our home. 

After three years of suffering, finally my Mother agreed to go into the hospital for a radical mastectomy.  By this time, the cancer had spread to other parts of her body and there was little hope for her recovery.  I remember awakening in the night to hear her moaning and crying for a release from the terrible nightmare she was in.  After suffering for an unbearably long time, she finally allowed herself to drift into a coma that helped her deal with the pain.

One night, my Dad called a Doctor who administered medication to ease her suffering.  Several hours after the doctor left, I heard my Dad quietly enter the bedroom where my sister and I slept to inform my sister, our Mom had gone to be with Jesus. 

I refused to acknowledge the information and pretended to be asleep.  I remember thinking about what my reaction should be.  In a way I was rejoicing for her because I knew she would be rid of her pain forever and in fact never have pain again.  I knew she was in heaven with her Dad and those who had gone before.  I also knew I would never be able to replace her. 

It was the day before my eleventh birthday and I knew I was too young to be without a Mother.  Somehow, even at this young age the Lord comforted me and helped me through the entire ordeal of dealing with this terrible loss and the meaningful but emotional sympathies of my classmates and relatives and family.

It was an early lesson for me that taught me God is Sovereign and we cannot make Him do what we want him to do.  Even though Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever, it is not always His will to heal or to fix things as we see fit.  We do not always understand the reasons for the way things happen but we have the assurance that He is in control and He will help us through all the trials and tribulations that come into our life. 

The Lord has always provided Christian mentors in my life and I have learned to fully trust Him no matter what!