A Weekend Read July 7-8 2012,
Abandonment:
Psalm 51:
10. “Create in me a clean heart, Oh God.
Renew a right spirit within me. 11. Do
not banish me from your presence and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.”
She valued her relationship
with her father. Close to him she felt
safe and protected. She knew he would
shelter her from hurts, pain and poverty.
She cherished the intimate moments when they could be alone and always
practiced complete honesty with him and to him.
Several times she had
wandered toward the lights and music but always maintained sight of the Father.
She had to admit there was a curiosity about the activities and sounds that she
could sometimes hear coming from that direction and she knew it was a world
that she had never experienced.
She remembered the feelings
of fear and slight loneliness one time when she had wandered far enough to lose
sight of the Father for a brief time but she had to admit there had been a
sense of excitement and wonder at the colored lights and loud laughter. She remembered the twinge of curiosity and a
desire to see more.
One morning as she awoke, she
made a decision to satisfy her insatiable curiosity to know what was beyond the
lights and laughter.
As she started on her
journey, she tried to keep the Father in her sights and she looked back often
but the road twisted and turned and soon she lost sight of him. She wanted to
turn back but this was farther than she had ever been before and she felt a tug
inside her to continue. She would return
as soon as she could just glimpse at this other world! “Yes” she would forge ahead and resolve this
dilemma.
The sounds continued to
increase and soon she was able to hear music like she had never heard before;
and the lights.......Oh the lights! The
brightness was dazzling with zany colors, which led to strange shadows and
shapes on the walls surrounding her. As
she looked around, she noticed many tantalizing activities and she wondered if
she should participate in any of them and which ones could answer her
unanswered questions?
Very soon, while she was
still wondering, there stood beside her a handsome escort with a most alluring
voice and demeanor who took her decision into his own hands and led her from
one attraction to another.
“My goodness,” she
thought, “This is a coincidence, to have
someone show me around like this, and someone who seems to know just where to
go.” And she became quite comfortable in the new situation. Before long she was enjoying herself and
actually having quite an experience and learning new things.
As time progressed, she felt herself become weary of the frenzy
and endless activities that were now becoming repetitious and even boring. She found herself wishing she had not come
this far. It wasn’t long before she felt
an urgency to return home but when she tried to leave, she discovered that her
escort, in his honey smooth mannerism, talked her into staying with him a while
longer. He sounded lonely and made her
feel guilty at wanting to leave so she felt obliged to stay.
As the experience progressed,
she lost track of time and her thinking became fuzzy. She didn’t have a clear idea of how long she
had been gone but she knew one thing: she should return to the Father. As she talked about going home, she noticed
her escort getting fidgety and impatient with her. The more she desired to leave, the more
impatient he became until she knew if she did not leave soon, it would be too
late and she may never find her way home again. Her desire to leave became even
stronger and soon the idea of leaving the lights and music and escort became
her only goal. She waited for his eyes to wander to someone else that appeared
to be new ......and started to run. As
she fled, she realized that the way home had become obscure and she wasn’t sure
where to go or which street to take, they all looked alike and she was becoming
more and more confused.. Soon she became panic stricken! Every corner had more lights and more
alluring attractions but she only wanted
to find the road that led to home and the safety of her Father.
In utter rejection,
desperation and abandonment she sat down on a near-by curb and started to
sob! She wondered why she had ever been
curious about this unknown world and thought about the quiet times with her
Father and the place of safety that he provided. The longing she experienced
right then could not be compared to anything she had ever felt before. She only
knew if this was what it was like to be part of this world and away from her
Father, she could never bear it. She
could never live in this dark, lonely world where no one really cared or
loved. She had never experienced a
loneliness like this and now she felt something new, which she had never known
before! She was unfamiliar with this
strange emotion but in the back of her mind she knew it must be guilt!
This experience also was new
to her and it made her feel unloved, unforgiven and totally alone. As she looked around, she became aware of
others who seemed to be in despair like herself. She asked if they knew where
she could find her Father and none seemed to understand what she was talking
about. In total desperation, she finally
cried out,
“Father, Father, Abba Father,
Where are you? I need you.”
As she looked up, he was standing before her
with outstretched hands saying, “Come.”
She ran into his waiting arms
and collapsed. He picked her up and
carried her home to the safety of his sheltering presence, back to the quiet
place that she had so loved before her wandering.
The realization of the deep
love that surrounded her and the peace she felt were overwhelming and caused
her emotions to well up. Unable to
contain her own love and wonder she allowed the tears to flow while He held her
close. She knew this was where she
belonged and wanted to stay forever.
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