Weekend Read Sept.16 2012:
In 1986, I wrote a letter to my second born son,
Darren David Paul ( born November 24, 1959 ). this is the letter:
Dear Darren, I am now very experienced at birthing
babies, after all I was a whole 17 years old when you came along.
You were very different from you older brother. You could not wait to bounce into this big
world. Labor was only 4 hours long. I barely made it to the hospital when; bang;
there you were!
What a perfect baby you were, 7lbs. 4oz. another miraculous happening in our young
lives, your Dad’s and mine.
Your older brother christened you Kai, because every
time you cried, which wasn’t very often, he would tell me, “Baby “ciy,
Mommy” so everyone started calling you
Kai. You were the most cuddly baby I
ever had. You were a picture of health
and very nice to cuddle. You used to
play with your little plastic cars and trucks for hours while I sometimes stole
a little nap. What a good and wonderful little boy you were! You did everything quickly. You were walking around by the time you were
only nine and a half months old.
When you were about 7 months old, you caught a bad
cold. After listening to you cough a
lot, I took you to our Doctor. He said
your ears were infected as well as you had a bad cough so he gave me some drops
to give you. I put the drops into your
ears and wondered why you didn’t get any better. After a week, I took you back again
announcing that the drops did not help.
He then informed me that the drops were for you to ingest, into your
mouth! I was very embarrassed and walked
out of his office with a very red face.
Once when you had croup, you had to stay in the
hospital for a couple of days. When you
got better and I could take you home, you looked so cute that the nurses didn’t
want to let you go. You were my first
cute, cuddly teddy bear baby. You were
very affectionate, always ready for a hug.
Your personality, however, was very serious and you
never tolerated anyone laughing at you, even when you did cute and funny
things. You’re favorite expression was,
“don’t laugh”. We learned to be very
careful of your feelings when you were little and I believe you still have
sensitive feelings but sometimes you work very hard at concealing them.
My Son, please don’t ever be afraid to show your tender
side, it makes you loveable and vulnerable but that is a beautiful quality in a
human being and should be shown without fear.
I think I know what you are often feeling even when many others don’t
and I love you more for those feelings.
Don’t ever be afraid of emotions for without them we are just a shell, a
robot.
You grew up very fast, as a matter of fact, too
fast. I don’t think I had enough time to
cuddle you as much as I should have. You
were always afraid of being embarrassed.
When you were in grade 2, I spent hours making you a clown costume for
your school party. When Halloween came,
you put it on and when you saw yourself in the mirror, you refused to leave the
house with the costume on. I forced you
to wear it because I knew you would be okay when you arrived at school. You did have a good time!
You seem to be blessed with the same thing your Dad
has and that is a quiet and a bit
withdrawn personality, shyness, I guess.
When you became the age to date girls, I remember standing beside you
urging you to call this special girl for a date. I think I even had to dial the phone for
you. When she answered, you stammered
and stuttered but you managed to ask her out.
One year, I realized you were growing out of you
timidness when you announced you were going to Yakima
You were also
quite an adventurer, from bike trips.......the first time it was all the way to
Scott Hill when we had to come to get you, to wilderness camps. One that I remember vividly was with the
YMCA, wilderness camp. You had to spend
24 or 36 hours all by yourself in the woods, day and night. I will always admire you for doing that
and know that you are a determined
survivor. That is a quality that is
precious and should be cherished.
You were
always a hard worker and earned enough money to be able to do many things. From Dickie Dee ice cream to changing tires for the city of Calgary
You have
made your Dad and I very proud of you.
It wouldn’t matter what you did as a career, we would always love you
and be proud. I know it took
perseverance to stick to the fire dept. because you were born with an
adventurous spirit and there are times it is difficult to muster the
stick-to-it-ivness that is required but in the end it will be worth it all.
I know
that you don’t profess to be at all religious.
I guess I really don’t know what you believe philosophically about
destiny and life after death and I know we don’t always agree. I also know that one day you will understand
the peace and contentment that can be experienced by having a strong faith in a
higher power. I pray for you almost every day and I know that one day my
prayers will be answered.
You will
always be very special to me as you have been since the day you entered my
life. I want more than anything for you
to find contentment and peace and then you will know that the dream you have
been searching for has finally come true and is fulfilled. I love you. Darren.
Darren is the Father of three
beautiful offspring, Steve, Kelli and Donovan.
He is an exceptionally loving and caring Father. We are very proud of him. He has remarried to a wonderful Lady named Rhonda, who we have grown to love and cherish, together they make a beautiful couple and we are very proud parents
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