A tribute to my first-born son, Blake!

Weekend Read

Over the years I have kept a personal journal.  Perhaps you will be blessed by my “ramblings” and maybe it will encourage you to write your thoughts, convictions, concerns, prayer requests or feelings as well.

The following is a letter to my firstborn son born October 1958:

To Blake: Written January 7, 1986:

You are my first-born and always hold a very special place in my heart.  The Lord’s hand has been upon you since you were first conceived.  You were stubborn and did not want to leave your comfortable, warm place of nurture.  Labor was thirty-six hours long and I almost decided to forget the whole thing.......and then a miracle happened.  You were only 6 lbs. 15 oz and such a precious gift from God.  You were ‘perfect’ and Dad and I thought you were the most beautiful and perfect baby that ever had been born.  In fact you were far more handsome than I ever anticipated a baby could be.  Your little head was covered with long dark hair and I loved every inch of your tiny fingers and toes and active little limbs.  You were also the smartest little boy in our eyes;  very clever and always ready to recite some little poem that Auntie “Edo” or myself  taught you.  We were so blessed by your birth.

When you were 4 or 5 years old, you started complaining of bad tummy aches.  They got so bad that Dad and I took you to the emergency hospital one night.  We saw Dr. Watkins who told us you needed an appendectomy.  We were willing to do anything to ease your pain so we agreed.  We left you at the hospital that night, after you fell asleep.  When we returned the next morning we were shocked by your appearance, as a matter of fact, we did not recognize you.  The Doctor had to take us to your bed before we realized it was you.  You had retained fluid and were bloated beyond recognition.  It was a terrible day for Dad and myself.  We were afraid for you and did not know why this had happened.  We were just kids ourselves and hadn’t a clue what was going on.  Later we learned it was the filtering system leading to your kidneys that weren’t working properly.  The Doctor assured us it was treatable and told us not to worry.

Just as you were hesitant about entering this world, you also were hesitant about responding to this medication.  Your condition worsened, even changing Doctors partway through did not help.  Finally the Doctor told us they had tried everything and there was nothing else to try.  He said you would probably not live to be 12!  Dad and I were devastated and very sad.

There were many people who knew about your sickness and many spent hours in prayer for you.  One day the Doctor called us into his office and informed us of a new drug on the market that he thought might work for you.  There were 9 children in Canada on this drug and they did not know the side effects yet.  Of course we agreed to try it.  We did not have medical insurance and this new drug was very expensive so in order to help us out some good-hearted people would slip us money every now and then to help us out.  We are thankful to them even now and haven’t forgotten about their generosity. 

After some time, we realized this new drug was working for you.  What a blessing and an answer to prayer.  When you were 12 years old the medical profession gave you a few more years to live.  Taking you off the drug was a challenge because it was a personality altering medicine and so we had to wean you off the high dosage you were on.  Five years later the Doctor’s decided you were totally cured and gave you a clean bill of health.

It is such a blessing to know  God never leaves us alone.  Even when I was not walking with the Lord, he never left my family or me.  His hand has always been on our family.  Your life was a confirmation of his love and faithfulness.

I know, because God spared your life as a little boy, he has plans for you and one day he will use your life as a vessel to bring hope, peace and unconditional love to others who are in need of it.

There were a few years when you seemed discontented, which goes hand in hand with being a youth.  You decided to take your life into your own hands and moved out of your childhood home saying you did not want to follow our rules anymore.  Your  little brother decided to go with you and you both went to make your own fortune in the world.  This was not a ‘fun’ time for our family and many tears were shed.  At this point in a child’s life, a parent can just hope and pray that they have instilled a firm foundation in their child’s life and trust God to guard them and let them go.

I am so thankful that even when our relationship was tested, the love we tried to show towards you was always evident in your attitude to us. You seemed to be able to accept it as well as give it.

There are several years in your life, I am not familiar with. Those were your dating years.  You must have had your heart broken several times and probably broke a few also, but that is all part of growing up and necessary.

One day you met a lovely young lady and fell in love and became a husband!  What a blessing that was and what a wonderful wedding.  You were such a ‘beautiful’ couple.  I am so thankful for Bonnie and the love you share.  Please don’t ever take each other for granted or become complacent with each other.  Now you are a Father of a beautiful daughter!  What a wonderful miracle!  Love her always and remember that fair discipline is a large part of love.

Now we are selling the house that you grew up in and I know that you find that difficult to accept but you will adjust to the idea and home, will still be home (Mom and Dad’s)  no matter where we live because our love will always be wherever we are.  Our memories are always with us also, some good, some not so good but even the not so good, I am thankful for, because we learn from them. Thank you, my eldest son , for the love you have given me.  I pray that one day you will truly experience a personal relationship with Jesus who has always loved you even more than I ever could and that’s a whole bunch!

Blake, accepted Christ as a personal Saviour shortly after Sarah, their daughter was born.  They have been a huge blessing to my husband and me.  They are parents of 2 additional sons, Tyler and Isaac. They are actively involved in a Bible teaching church.