Waiting for death..........

Weekend Read September 30 2012!

Waiting!

In April, 1991, I spent 4 weeks with my sister in Los Angeles, CA.  She had suffered for years with a disease called Scleraderma, a terrible disease that causes the organs of the body to solidify.  It is disfiguring and it becomes very difficult to move .  In her case, it effected the skin organ, causing it to become like wood with no elasticity.  Sometime before her death she also suffered from ovarian cancer.  Although she underwent many “chemo” treatments and a variety of drugs, she never experienced release from this disease.  Esther’s daughter, Nancy was also there with me.  Together we managed to care for Esther in her last weeks of life on earth.  Esther had suffered for several years and had a strong desire to go home to be with Jesus.  Death seemed to take a long time.  Even though she wanted to die, we learned, life and death are in God’s hands.  He is the giver and taker of life but the wait is often difficult to endure.  The following is a poem I wrote while we were waiting!

Written March 28, 1991.

My heart is tired, I am lonely

I am longing for laughter, for joy

There is none of that here

It is not a good thing to wait for death

And yet........that is what we are doing

We are consumed by the wait

We think every breath is the last

We have put our lives on hold

It is amazing how one can be done without

We think we are all important

But when I am “out” of the picture

Life still goes on - People still laugh, play, and work

I am in another world

Where all this is on hold

We do what we have to

Our mind does not take a break

It is ever conscious of the waiting

When will it end?

Would I want to be somewhere else?

No!  I am needed here

Thank God, He is in control

Sometimes I feel abandoned

But ultimately, I know He is here

I do have peace!

Adena Paget